Big Girl Bed!

After Ember dismounted from her bed Sunday night less than gracefully, Andrew and I planned to convert her crib to the toddler bed configuration. We planned that as soon as Andrew walked through the door, we would grab Ember and throw and "big girl bed" party!!!

During the day, I pulled the necessary piece out of the closet and showed Ember how it would attach to the crib and talked a lot about her new bed. Very quickly, she got excited and would pull me into her room to show me the rail and ask me hold it up against her crib. Once Andrew got home, he grabbed the appropriate tools and the three of us rallied in Ember's room. The girl was bouncing with enthusiasm!

Ember was over the moon with the new set up, but we knew the real challenge was yet to come: bed time. Dun dun dunnnnn.

We kept the bedtime routine exactly the same: Andrew diapered and jammied Ember, read a story, we all hunted for the mice in Goodnight Moon and then lights went out and I nursed Ember to slumber. While nursing and rocking in her chair, I surveyed the new arrangement and got scared and weepy. How did we come to this so fast? And, it finally occurred to me that she was going to roll out of bed. Ember definitely squirms in her sleep and those crib rails kept her in place. Without them, she was going overboard.

But there was no going back.

A tumble out of bed was a much better alternative than Ember falling the several feet from the crib rails. Once asleep, I put Ember in her bed, kissed her forehead, and put pillows down around the landing zone. I lingered just long enough to watch her snuggle into her Kitty and then tiptoed out. Being that I'm such a sap, I made Andrew go in with me, and we peered at our big girl together, sound asleep. I managed to keep from sobbing uncontrollably and to not take a picture for fear of a flash waking her up.

The night went remarkably well. She cried once at 11:30 - I went in to find Ember lying on the pillows on the floor, asleep. Clearly, it couldn't have been all that been traumatic. We checked on her twice more over the course of the night and both times found Ember on the floor, sound asleep. Without issue, we moved her back to bed.

The hardest adjustment will be the mornings. Ember usually stirs around 6am but lulls herself back to sleep within the confines of her crib. She may not do that anymore. Instead, she may get up and play, prompting the start of my day. But really, I'm not complaining.

Scenes from a Big Girl Bed Party!!!

"Nigh, nigh."

Life is (once again) Over as I Know It

There are milestones in a child's life that are real game changers for parents.

Crawling.

Walking.

And, climbing out of the crib.

Oh sweet parenting gods, give me strength.

I woke this morning to a thud that rattled through the monitor. Immediately, I took off knowing exactly what had happened: Ember had climbed out of her crib. When I opened the door to her room, there she was, lying like a plank on the floor. I got down beside her, lifted her to her feet and asked if she was okay. She looked at me, and then pointed to her stuffed kitty in the crib and said, "Kitty!"

Oh, good, you're alright. Good thing, because my blood pressure had already spiked.

I mean, Andrew and I both knew that it wasn't a matter of if Ember was going to climb out of her crib, but when. And I've always been grateful that she is on the tiny side of the scale because this day could have come much, much sooner.

Oh, but that is little comfort right now. What are we going to do!?

Well, we are going to convert the crib to the toddler bed set up. But that introduces a host of other issues ... like keeping her in bed. Hell. even her room! The kid can open doors so....

Sleepless nights are coming my way again, I'm sure of it. Just when my eye had stopped twitching...

Bravo Karma, you got us again.

Any thoughts on how to get a 17 month old excited about her new big girl bed? Duct tape or chicken wire? Just kidding. I think.

At least she's cute.
This is how Ember dresses when left to her own devices: dress, rubber boots, denim jacket and a a ball cap.

Me as a Mum

I believe I am the mother that other mothers roll their eyes about, and question why I'm being such a high maintenance freak. Seriously.

Here's the thing: I have expectations of my child. Yes, even at 17 months of age.

We taught her to sign a fair amount of words and she knows how to say please and thank you. With that, when Ember asks to be picked up, for some milk, et cetera I expect that she say "please" first. There was one evening after dinner that Ember declared herself "all done" and wanted down from her high chair. Well, Ember sat there until she said/signed "down please". It got to the point where Andrew and I were past the point of caring but assuming that she probably has the memory of an elephant, we stuck to her guns and waited for her to ask properly. We had company that evening and I believe she was being a bit of a smart aleck for their benefit but we got it out of her ... even though she spent a couple of minutes in her high chair in her bedroom. Since that night, manners haven't been too much of an issue and without prompting Ember is signing please in tandem with her requests. Things only go off the rails when she's cranky; that's when I'm really grateful for her ability to sign please. When she's jumping at my feet asking for something, reminding her "what do you say?" checks her and snaps her out of her mood. She smiles and signs please and we go on. And, we almost always get a thank you when you'd expect one. My heart melts when Ember walks through a door that a stranger is holding for her, and she looks up and waves saying "Tank ta" (thank you).

Another thing: I narrate Ember's day. I'm sure I'm nauseating to listen to.

While Ember and I are at play, I'm constantly talking about the things she encounters, their colours, and if applicable the sound they make. Absolutely, she has play time alone, where I don't dream of interfering but when she calls to include me, or asks to be included - the narrative picks up. When we're cooking/baking together I talk of the ingredients; their colours and texture. When at play, I talk of the animals, their sounds, the colour. I call "open, closed" while she plays at the bedroom doors. I call "on, off" when she's playing with her rubber boots.

I don't even know how bad it is until I watch our family videos. From behind the camera I'm heard, "Can you find another egg Ember? Look to your left. Oh, you found the blue one!" Or, "What are those Ember? Do you hear frogs? What do froggies say? Ribbit, ribbit?" I can't be stopped!

It's even worse when we're in public. When Ember has free reign, usually in the library or a bookstore, she obviously has no sense of her surroundings yet and I'm always to bring about a sense of consciousness. "Ember say excuse me when walking through a crowd." "Ember don't push in front of the little girl, she was playing at the computer first." "Ember, share!, that's not yours." I'm right in there while other mothers watch from beyond the fray like I'm a mad woman.

Oh, another thing: I talk to Ember like she's 5 (15) years older than she is.

I can't be stopped. The best example I can think of right now was when Ember was playing on the computers in the kid's section of the library. Ember seized the opportunity when a seat opened up and grabbed the mouse like a seasoned techie. Of course I'm right in there trying to decipher the point of the game and what it is Ember is to do. Let me tell you, nothing makes you feel old like trying to navigate a kids game. Oh lordy! After tinkering with the mouse I figure that I need to be using the directional pad on the keyboard and Ember and I are off. "Okay Ember, you need to collect all the bananas. Move the monkey so that he gets them all using these arrow keys." As I'm offering these directions, Ember shouting "nana!" and making monkey noises. Once the level is cleared, Ember exclaims "All done!" and begins clapping. Okay, next level. "See Ember, that man there is holding up a letter and we have to move the monkey to the corresponding letter over here so the window can be cleaned." Ember nods like we're on the same page, we complete a few letters and she's off. "Bye bye" as she darts off to the next activity.

I fully realize that Ember can't follow such directions yet but I'm incapable of practising it.

One more thing: She is already a time out kid.

Ember has been spending 60 seconds at a time in time out since she was one year old. I realize that she doesn't fully grasp the concept yet but she will. Eventually. In starting out early, Andrew and I are getting stronger and are developing a few rules about time out as we go. Like, the parent who puts Ember in time out, gets her out of time out. This way neither looks like a hero. A bonus of time outs? It gives me a time out which is usually what's required in the moment.

Other random confessions:

- Sets of toys that are scattered all over the place really irritates me. I've been known to count pieces of Playmobil and puzzles to make sure they're all accounted for. The same goes for the ABC fridge magnets and crayons. A purple crayon has gone MIA and it's driving me CRAZY!

- When Ember is colouring, I really want her to colour within the lines. She doesn't of course and that's okay, I just really, really want her to.

- I started baking with Ember in a sling when she was itty bitty, 3 weeks old-ish. I would identify ingredients and measurements to her and I found it all very relaxing and enjoyable. Now, I can't do anything in the kitchen without Ember wanting to help. She carries the step stool over to where I am working, climbs up and reaches into my work zone. It isn't always relaxing but I love that we bake and cook together.

- Ember hears the word respect A LOT. Every time she hucks a piece of her meal on the floor, "Ember, you need to respect your food. People work hard to provide that for you." Wow, that sounds brutal when you type it out. I don't want to continue with this point anymore....

So, do you agree with any of my sentiments or practices? Or do you think I'm effing crazy? Be gentle if you fall into the latter category.

Happy Mother's Day

Technical difficulties! This should have been posted last night, but here it is ... 15 hours later.

To all the women who get their clean clothes out of the hamper while all other members of the household have their clothes neatly folded and put away,

To all the women who wear sweatpants for enough days in a row that it makes you feel like you've lost weight, only to realize that this may not be the case when you pull on your jeans,

To all the women who eat cold dinners, or have their meals interrupted 14 times while you hop and down fetching different accoutrements of necessity - a wet cloth, a spoon, the spoon off the floor, a fork, the fork off the floor, a wet towel to mop the quinoa off the floor .... ,

To all the women who have an open door policy with a person whose favourite author is Sandra Boynton (no disrespect to Ms Boynton!) and have hands reaching from beyond a curtain while they're showering,

To all the women who have lost the time to read for pleasure,

And to all the women who love wholly, unconditionally, and unselfishly: bravo to you.

I hope you had a wonderful day being loved and appreciated for the incredible job you do.

Multiple Choice

Choose the best answer.

I am to Ember, as:

a) border collies are to sheep,
b) a traffic cop is to traffic,
c) a ringmaster is to a circus.

The Breastfeeding Doll

There seems to be a lot of discussion in the media about a breastfeeding doll that teaches young girls to breastfeed. The doll comes with a floral halter top which has sensors that mimic a sucking noise when the doll is brought close to the chest. Currently the doll is only available in Spain, but the manufacturer intends on bringing it to America next year.



Many are calling the doll "gross" and very inappropriate citing that it will promote teenage pregnancy and force girls to grow up too fast. Some have even described the doll as "sick".

Considering it's completely socially acceptable for children to carry around dolls that require diaper changing because they wet themselves and dolls that actually bottle feed, is this doll really offensive?

I question the necessity of the doll: I just don't feel that the halter and suckling noises are necessary. However I feel that way about all dolls that feature real life bodily functions. My thoughts are that children can imagine all those acts themselves. I know a few mothers that have given their first born children a doll when a new sibling has come into the family. When it comes time for the new baby to nurse, the older child has to feed their baby, too. Is that odd? Or is it teaching tool?

Thinking forward to if we were to have a sibling for Ember, I would absolutely give her a "baby" to help her ease into her new role as big sister. I expect that she would mimic nursing her doll as I would be nursing a baby, just as she would burp it, change its diaper and take it for a walk.

I'm dying to know - what are your thoughts?? Let's discuss.

Consumed

I'm overwhelmed with the preciousness of life and the cycle that is.

The perspective gained from the view parenthood is heavy at times. With my very best, I try to relish it all and never, ever take it for granted.

With all that's happening on the planet right now, driven by a bigger power or those who have power issues, and I look at my quiet life and I'm grateful.

My thoughts are with those I do not know.

Mommy Milk

I've been thinking about nursing a lot lately. I am still breastfeeding my little meatloaf.

I didn't set out to breastfeed for this long. My original goal was to nurse until Ember was 12 months old and after that I'd address it. That milestone has come and gone and here I am, still milking it. Basically, Andrew and I felt that with a daily feeding, Ember was getting a great multi-vitamin that she wouldn't get anywhere else. I wasn't returning to work so it wasn't a hindrance in my life.

Ember began to wean herself in January so I thought I'd let her do the work; we were down to nursing for nap time only. And then she got sick and she reverted. She was nursing several times a day again. Considering she was dehydrated and wasn't interested in food, I was more than happy to oblige. I'm so grateful that I hadn't weaned because I believe it played a HUGE role in Ember recuperating so quickly from the RS virus. Since being sick, we've taken some time to get back to where we were but we're back to nap and bed time nursing only.
No more night time feedings at all!!

Now that Ember is 15 months old, my new goal is her second birthday. If Ember weans herself before then, great, I won't discourage it. However, I would continue to pump for her to have a sippy cup once a day.

Sometimes I'm surprised by myself and this decision. But for our situation, I feel it's the right one. I'm home, it's easy to pump. And, with Ember's allergies, I believe that breast milk can only serve as a benefit to her immune system and fat intake.

I'm curious to know your experiencing with breastfeeding. How long did you nurse? Did you have a goal? Mums to be - what are you thoughts, do you intend to nurse?

To Buy Some Time

Talk about a case of poor attendance.

Life has been full of everyday busyness that a 14 month old dictates, and it's grand. Parenting is no longer just about watching and containing (okay, there's still some of that) but instead there's so much interaction, play and budding imagination to behold. I find it next to impossible to accomplish things for fear that I may miss something priceless. So, frankly, I don't. Days are spent building forts, singing songs, dancing, reading, being trains, cars, sailors.... laughing. A lot. Ember's nap time is reserved for my productivity where I do a power tidy, work at a project and then often sit in silence, sipping tea and shop online - filling carts and never checking out.

Because I know some are sick of logging on to see Christmas posts ....

Andrew came home weeks ago with some promo swag and Ember found joy immediately in a mag lite.



I will be back soon and more frequently. I'm thinking stream of consciousness writing is the key to consistent blogging nowadays. In the meantime, I defy you not to smile.

It's Ember's Fault.

Friends, I'm sorry for going off the grid for a week. It's Ember's fault. Seriously! On her birthday, she decided to upend a cup of tea on my laptop keyboard. This prompted her first time out - in the playpen she went for a minute while I tried to mop up the tea before it flooded the keyboard. Too late. When I returned to the laptop sometime later and tried to resume my blog post, half of the keys weren't working. I called Andrew for help who said, "Turn the laptop upside down and let the tea flow out." Hmph. Should have maybe done that immediately after the incident; doing it an hour or two later didn't really garner any success. Go figure.

Of course, it was Ember's birthday so I had a celebratory dinner to prepare that day and cupcakes to make so I wasn't spending much time at the computer anyway. Last Friday, family arrived for the weekend, I had Ember's party to organize and host and of course, spend time with the family. So, it hasn't been really until today that I can sit down and resume blogging with ease. My keyboard still doesn't work and though the comp is still under warranty, it turns out "my kid spilt tea all over it" isn't covered. Boo.

Only the A and F keys work. I'm so annoyed. Here I sit, with a keyboard plugged in via USB to my laptop (it's so ridiculous) attempting to catch up on a week's worth of posts. Posts are going to be coming rapid-fire style especially since we're less than three weeks away from Christmas! Oh, and Ember's 12 month birthday post (complete with pictures) is coming, too. Hang on!

We Interrupt Your Regular Programming for Sobfest

Ember will be a whole year old tomorrow.
We are rounding home on her first trip around the sun.
Time is running down on this 364th day.
I've been teetering on the brink of an ugly cry all day.
At one point, I actually sat on the floor and took in the world from her perspective. I want to appreciate it all.
We've been banking lots of snuggles the last two nights since she is teething. There are four coming in all at once and they are taking their sweet time.
***

I sat in her rocker last night, rocking and soothing her to sleep.
I opened up all my senses as wide as possible to soak up the moment and savour the right now of it all.
My eyes to remember every curly locket of hair, the way her feet still flex like a newborns, and the pudge of her thigh.
My nose to inhale her sweet breath and the scent of her freshly bathed body.
My ears so I could fully appreciate the perfect rhythm of her inhalations and exhalations.
My mouth so I could kiss her oh so kissable face perched just-so on my shoulder, being sure to plant a few on her rosy, apple cheeks.
And my hands: I wrapped one around her torso, managing to cover the expanse of her back, and the other supported her tush so we could rock, back and forth, back and forth, slowly helping to lull my girl to sleep to dream sweet dreams.

I recalled how nearly 365 days ago, how very differently our bodies fit together. How her tiny, fresh to the world body, fit between my collar bone and belly button.
I thought about how for our first nights together, she slept on my bare chest and we formed an unmistakable, heartfelt bond.
My heart swells.

A Fine Place

In response to a recent post about my mummyhood catch phrases, Kristin sent me an email about her everyday mantra, "I'm gonna miss this." Since then, I find it popping into my head pretty darn frequently. I've been feeling verklempt about Ember's upcoming milestone birthday and "I'm gonna miss this" rings through some of our more tender moments lately.

For example, in the wee hours this morning, when she demanded a feed that I thought she'd grown out of, she put her hands on both my cheeks, broke latch, and said, "Gawl-EE!"
Or that no matter how tired, through each and every feeding, she still holds my finger just as she does in the photo below.
Or the way that she "ooohs" and points when discovering something new.

It's not that I think these moments will dissipate once we start counting the days into her second year. And I know that there will be new, wonderful experiences and moments to treasure. Still, I can't help but feel like I'm leaving babyhood behind and fully graduating on to the next phase. By definition, she is becoming a toddler!

How can that be!?

Wasn't it just yesterday that she looked like this? So small and new.

18 hours old.

Wasn't it just last week that she moved like this?

11 weeks old.

I wasn't expecting to be so mushy about this upcoming day but alas, here I am crying as I watch her squirm in that video. I had already forgotten her chirps and squeaks.

Oh the first birthday - what a fine place to reflect upon my best year to date and to look forward, with wonder and excitement, to what's to come. There's so much to celebrate.

Now excuse me while I go get a tissue.

Haunted

I'm not sure if it's the city I live in but I see an abundance of very young mothers on a daily basis. Mothers passing their babe around like a fashion accessory with very little regard for their well being. Mothers pushing their child in a stroller through harsh winter elements when their child isn't appropriately dressed. Mothers feeding their infant McDonald's french fries. Witnessing such instances makes my heart hurt. So very much. Maybe it's a demographic thing, but "unfit" mothers seem to rampant here.

While at a mall on Saturday afternoon with Andrew and Ember, we came upon a mother (21ish) on a cell phone while her son (probably a year and a half old) cried a pain ridden, tired cry in his stroller. There were two security guards (no older than 21) squatting beside the the little guy telling him to calm down. I slowed our pace to watch the scene and tried to ascertain the problem hoping to offer help. The little boy was beat red and had been clearly crying for some time and looked faint. He was wearing a full snowsuit, mittens and winter boots on. My first thought - he's baking.

It's freezing cold outside, no question, but the mall was warm - heat pumping and throngs of eager holiday shoppers; Andrew, Ember and I were stripped out of our winter duds and walking in long sleeve shirts, still warm.

I couldn't help but approach the mom, boy and security guards: "Can I do anything to help?" The security guards looked up as if I was from outer space and said, "No, the paramedics are on their way." Up close, I was also able to overhear the mom on the phone with presumably, 9-1-1. She seemed wholly confused and was having a tough time understanding which mall exit the ambulance was going to arrive. She didn't look up to recognize my presence. They boy continued to cry and almost appeared semi-conscious. The security guards were prompting him to stay awake. Horribly, I wanted to strip him down - he looked so warm.

The whole scene was painful to watch.

On the verge of tears, I caught up to Andrew and Ember. I couldn't help but scoop Ember up out of the stroller, smooch her on the cheek and tell her 'I love you'. Moments later, the security guards ushered the mother and her son, to the nearest exit to where the ambulance was presumably waiting. Again, I heard, "Just stay awake. Keep your eyes open." The boy was still in the stroller.

I don't have all the details obviously, and I don't know what the circumstances were but I do know that the mother did not touch her son once that I saw. I would have been carrying my child crying to an ambulance. I would be assuring my babe that I loved him and offered him comfort. This mom did nothing of the sort and laughed like she was embarrassed while walking by.

That was nearly 72 hours ago and I still well up with tears thinking about it and worry about that boy, hoping all is well now.

Like I said, I have witnessed many a scene like that in this fair city. I'm not here to condemn young mothers as I know not all are ill equipped and I know older mothers don't have it all figured out either. We are all doing our best and we all have our share of trying moments where we don't have the answers or patience.

Driving home that afternoon, I couldn't help but talk about how disturbed I was and how my heart was breaking for that little boy. Looking back on similar scenes I've witnessed, I can't help but think about how poorly educated and informed the bulk of mothers in those situations appear. They appear to have very limited resources. They are often alone or part of a large social circle trying to live the life they would have before baby.

I think about how we are all allowed to leave the hospital after bringing a life into the world. There we are, battered by delivery, and armed with few brochures of what will happen to ourselves and baby in coming weeks, sent home to care for and raise a human being. Hell, my husband after his appendectomy received more news and direction at discharge than we did coming home with Ember.

My stepmother-in-law, Michelle, is a teaching aid, and often points out how Andrew and I are doing everything right: reading to Ember, encouraging communication and nurturing her. I laugh and say, it's such a no brainer. She sombrely replies, "You'd be surprised how many parents don't do anything like that."

Let me stress that I don't have it all figured out. Not even close. Some days are better than others. Some days I'm grateful for the reset button that is night time. I always take comfort in knowing that my girl is loved and for that she is richer. But for some mothers, who lack information and education, love isn't enough. They are alone in the hardest job on the planet without help or knowing where to turn. I think about that little boy and how hard he was working to communicate and no one was adequately listening or comforting him. I think about that mother and how confused she appeared and almost unmoved by the situation. My heart is heavy and I am haunted by it.

Reduced to a Catch Phrase

Over the past eleven months, I find myself spouting the same things over and over again. They have become my catch phrases. Or maybe, more appropriately, just one line summations of my life.

They are quite versatile. Depending on the context, they serve as warnings, excuses and/or defense mechanisms.

1. It's not permanent.
This is basically my mantra. Whenever we're going through a rough patch of any nature with our sweet girl, you can bet I'm muttering this under my breath while practicing my breathing exercises.
Alternatively, this can be applied in moments that you will want to treasure. During Ember's more snuggly moments, when all I want to do is prep dinner, I remind myself that all too soon she will move out of this stage and that all else can wait while I smother my girl with kisses.

2. I'm a great mum, but a shitty housewife.
On any given day, my condo can look as if a bomb went off, a tornado went through, or we are applying to be Hoarders. We are constantly fighting with some serious storage issues but more than that, I neglect my house work. Rather than folding laundry as it comes out of the dryer or off the drying rack, I transfer it to a hamper and play with Ember. We sing songs, play hand games and read books. We chase one another. We make music out of make shift instruments. Sure, there are weeks where it appears that moss is growing on our furniture, but whatever ... I'm comfortable with my priorities. I seriously shirk my housewife responsibilities to play with Ember because this isn't permanent. See #1.
Oh, I clean up for company. Just don't drop in for a surprise visit, okay? Thanks in advance.

3. I have nothing to prove.
We've been a bit slower than most to move Ember into her own room at nights. This is because I usually crap out, quit fighting her and just return to our bed with babe in tow. Please don't judge me. But you know what? I'm tired and I have nothing to prove. Again, number one applies: I know Andrew and I won't always be kneaded by small elbows and feet. We're doing what works for us.

4. The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be.
More or less self explanatory and all encompassing. Though I'm happy to report that I can now sneeze and run without issue.

5. Use it or lose it and I'm losing it.
I trip of my words in simple conversation. My penmanship is going down the toilet. I'm a scatterbrain frequently forgetting my train of thought . I spend my days with an 11 month old. I don't use it, and I'm losing it.

6. I'll appreciate this when she's 16.
My daughter is strong willed; she's her very own advocate already at her tender young age. She knows how to work her emotions and play me like a fiddle. She knows what she wants and is admirably persistent and determined. These are traits that can stomp on my last nerve at times. (Oh karma - you got us!)
But no matter how annoyed I get at times, I remind myself that I will grateful for her will and spirit when she's 16; when she's a leader, not a follower and maturing into a strong woman.

You must have your own mummyhood taglines. I would love to hear them! I can always use more in my repertoire.

A Case of the Mondays

Nap time presented challenges today.

Ember was resistant and overly exhausted. I was the latter of the two.

I gave up after shedding a few frustrated tears of my own. To buy myself a few moments to sip a cup of tea and re-group, I plunked Ember in her Exersaucer.

She didn't like this course of action.

But quickly calmed down when she remembered that she could bounce away her frustration.

There was even a glimmer of a smile.
I found comfort in my cup of tea and we were back on course.

Hope you're easing into your week a little easier than we are.
If not, I recommend bouncing or a cup of tea.

Paid in Love

It's official. Seeing as how the Canadian government has stopped sending cheques, *sob*, it would seem maternity leave has expired and I have crossed over into official "stay at home mum" territory. Since my new title doesn't come with an expense account, we're learning strategies in how to stay ahead knowing that me being home is paramount. Of course, this makes #26 on my 28in28 list a must rather than a mere goal. I'd thought I'd share some of the ways we're cleaning up our monetary diet.

What makes an enormous difference for us is meal planning. I sit down every Friday, create a list of our dinners for the following week and our family heads out to the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning seeking the ingredients necessary to create the dinners on my plan. Eating a clean diet free of preservatives, hormones and chemicals is very important to us - especially now that Ember eats what we're eating. I'll spare you my rants and passionate spewings on food, but I've become quite passionate about eating a clean, responsibly grown diet. As it can be a little more costly to eat this way, eating seasonally and going vegetarian a couple of nights a week makes a big difference. This means we can eat the way we want without compromising the budget. Bonus: We still get time out as a family by going to the Farmer's Market and walking around one of the city's older neighbourhoods. Economical day out!

Thankfully, we already cloth diaper and breastfeeding continues to be a success story so we don't have to worry about extra weekly expenditures. Even if you're not cloth diapering, try switching over to cloth wipes. Just purchase some inexpensive baby washcloths and use those to clean baby's tushy at each diaper change. You will do your pocket book and the environment a favour. Over your baby's time in diapers, you can save approximately $1500. (I still use disposable wipes for travelling and errands, but home we are all cloth, all the time. It's an especially easy switch to make if you're cloth diapering, just wash everything together.)

I make our cleaning supplies. It's amazing what you can do with baking soda, lemon and vinegar. From scratch, I make disinfectant spray, laundry detergent, creamy scrub and more.

We live in a condo so many of your typical household expenses are covered in our condo fees. However, we are on the hook for hydro. We have plugged the majority of our electronics into power bars and before going to bed each night, we switch off the power bar. In doing this, you eliminate the phantom power being drawn. Those little lights on your Blu-ray player that are on all night, the clock on your microwave, the blinking light on your cell phone charger - all phantom power. My in-laws put their electronics on power bars, began switching them off each night and immediately noticed a savings on their electricity bill within the first month.

After studying where our grocery money was going in the way of pre-packaged foods, I have began to make a lot of it from scratch. I'm putting all those wedding presents to use: I bake bread, make granola cereal, pasta and our yummy indulgent treats. This was an easy one as I love to spend time in the kitchen and I'm home during the day. I love how we don't have so much garbage in the way of packaging and I can control the quality of ingredients.

Some of the above are easier for us to implement since I am home, I realize that. I imagine whether a home has two working parents or one who stays home, budgeting is a reality for all of us. I would love to hear the creative steps your family has taken to curb spending.

Worth Reading

A Facebook friend posted this link today. It is an incredibly valuable entry about our role as mothers, and a reminder to not judge or compare our children but to simply love and respect them.

So, please, take the time to read this powerful post.

"My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person."

Does Motherhood = TMI?

(TMI = Too Much Information)

When engaging in a conversation with another mother, it really seems like nothing is off limits. Episiotimies, tearing, forceps, stretch marks, breastfeeding - it is all fair game. In my eleven months in this role, I have had waitresses divulge their birth stories, talked about stitches on the stairs of a rugby club with a new mum and confessed to a few breastfeeding souvenirs on this blog. Women can basically divulge all about their pregnancy, birth and mothering experiences and I won't bat an eye. What cesarean sections aren't normal to discuss in the grocery checkout line?

Before becoming a mother, I would have NEVER, EVER discussed anything surrounding my perineum with anyone. I would have blushed if my doctor brought it up. But now, please, what do you want to know?

During pregnancy, a woman really can't help but get in touch with her body, all its functions and overcome any squeamishness. Even husbands and partners have to toughen up. For a while, placenta was referred to as polenta in our house because Andrew hated the word. (You can guess, we don't eat a lot of polenta anymore.)

Among the company of other mothers, mummies can really open up about their experiences, challenges and triumphs. I for one think this is tremendous! How grand that we live in time where we can learn from one another, find comfort in each other and just vent without shame. Motherhood can be a lonely, challenging place and the fact that us generation of mothers can discuss most anything is a real blessing. For instance, on this blog I have discussed a cracked nipple, some incontinence issues and postpartum depression all without batting an eye!

I'm so grateful for my mummy friends who I can garner wisdom through and whom I can commiserate with. I love that I can talk freely with my own mum about most anything. From day one of my pregnancy, she has said that my generation is smarter than hers was and she chalks it all up to how open women are and how there isn't a stigma tied to a lot nowadays. Motherhood is a club with so many members, and I think it's only fair to discuss experiences with honesty, respect and openness. For the survival of mothers everywhere, it's essential to keep dialogue flowing.

Sure, to those passing by nipple shields and mucous plugs may sound like unnecessary lunch discussion, but to those around the table, it's just a day that ends with "y".

Do you disagree? Do you think certain topics are off limits? Can you openly discuss your experiences or are you a bit shy about it? In the spirit of the topic, let's discuss.

Lost in Pumpkin Month

How is it that the last time I was here was October 4th? Where or where did October go? Can it really be the 29th? Is that really true?

When I was relaying this sentiment to my mum yesterday, she said, "You've been in the kitchen all month, Sarah - it's pumpkin month!!" Oh, of course!! October is my husband's FAVOURITE month of the year - it marks his birthday, our anniversary, Halloween and most importantly delicious pumpkin indulgence. The man is just bananas about pumpkins. Each October I whisk pumpkin puree into a frenzy for a variety of dishes. I love to bake and watching Andrew thoroughly enjoy my creations is so stinking rewarding, and fun.

In addition to the bake-a-thon, I've been kept busy by Miss Ember (duh!), I've been busy trying to ready our home for winter hibernation and we jetted off to Vancouver for a short getaway, too.

I will be back to share highlights of Ember's first October very soon!! It has been a fantastic month!

Pass It On: Brilliant Advice

Linking through blog-land tonight, I stumbled upon a brilliant post featuring ideas and advice on 'gifts' to offer a family expecting a little one. Originally posted by Gloria Lemay on her blog, the usefulness (and timelessness) of this information is so darn fantastic that I would be remiss not to share it with you. Furthermore, I encourage you to pass it on.


After the Birth, what a family needs
posted October 28, 2008 by Gloria

“Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born.” … “Just let me know if you need a hand.” … “Anything I can do, just give me a call.”

Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of “I’m fine, I’m doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar” is pervasive in postpartum land. If you’re too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what’s wanted and needed…

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).

3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.

4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.

5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”

7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.

8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.

9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It’s easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don’t know what they can do that won’t be an intrusion. They also can’t devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There’s magic in the little prayer “I need help.”