Me as a Mum

I believe I am the mother that other mothers roll their eyes about, and question why I'm being such a high maintenance freak. Seriously.

Here's the thing: I have expectations of my child. Yes, even at 17 months of age.

We taught her to sign a fair amount of words and she knows how to say please and thank you. With that, when Ember asks to be picked up, for some milk, et cetera I expect that she say "please" first. There was one evening after dinner that Ember declared herself "all done" and wanted down from her high chair. Well, Ember sat there until she said/signed "down please". It got to the point where Andrew and I were past the point of caring but assuming that she probably has the memory of an elephant, we stuck to her guns and waited for her to ask properly. We had company that evening and I believe she was being a bit of a smart aleck for their benefit but we got it out of her ... even though she spent a couple of minutes in her high chair in her bedroom. Since that night, manners haven't been too much of an issue and without prompting Ember is signing please in tandem with her requests. Things only go off the rails when she's cranky; that's when I'm really grateful for her ability to sign please. When she's jumping at my feet asking for something, reminding her "what do you say?" checks her and snaps her out of her mood. She smiles and signs please and we go on. And, we almost always get a thank you when you'd expect one. My heart melts when Ember walks through a door that a stranger is holding for her, and she looks up and waves saying "Tank ta" (thank you).

Another thing: I narrate Ember's day. I'm sure I'm nauseating to listen to.

While Ember and I are at play, I'm constantly talking about the things she encounters, their colours, and if applicable the sound they make. Absolutely, she has play time alone, where I don't dream of interfering but when she calls to include me, or asks to be included - the narrative picks up. When we're cooking/baking together I talk of the ingredients; their colours and texture. When at play, I talk of the animals, their sounds, the colour. I call "open, closed" while she plays at the bedroom doors. I call "on, off" when she's playing with her rubber boots.

I don't even know how bad it is until I watch our family videos. From behind the camera I'm heard, "Can you find another egg Ember? Look to your left. Oh, you found the blue one!" Or, "What are those Ember? Do you hear frogs? What do froggies say? Ribbit, ribbit?" I can't be stopped!

It's even worse when we're in public. When Ember has free reign, usually in the library or a bookstore, she obviously has no sense of her surroundings yet and I'm always to bring about a sense of consciousness. "Ember say excuse me when walking through a crowd." "Ember don't push in front of the little girl, she was playing at the computer first." "Ember, share!, that's not yours." I'm right in there while other mothers watch from beyond the fray like I'm a mad woman.

Oh, another thing: I talk to Ember like she's 5 (15) years older than she is.

I can't be stopped. The best example I can think of right now was when Ember was playing on the computers in the kid's section of the library. Ember seized the opportunity when a seat opened up and grabbed the mouse like a seasoned techie. Of course I'm right in there trying to decipher the point of the game and what it is Ember is to do. Let me tell you, nothing makes you feel old like trying to navigate a kids game. Oh lordy! After tinkering with the mouse I figure that I need to be using the directional pad on the keyboard and Ember and I are off. "Okay Ember, you need to collect all the bananas. Move the monkey so that he gets them all using these arrow keys." As I'm offering these directions, Ember shouting "nana!" and making monkey noises. Once the level is cleared, Ember exclaims "All done!" and begins clapping. Okay, next level. "See Ember, that man there is holding up a letter and we have to move the monkey to the corresponding letter over here so the window can be cleaned." Ember nods like we're on the same page, we complete a few letters and she's off. "Bye bye" as she darts off to the next activity.

I fully realize that Ember can't follow such directions yet but I'm incapable of practising it.

One more thing: She is already a time out kid.

Ember has been spending 60 seconds at a time in time out since she was one year old. I realize that she doesn't fully grasp the concept yet but she will. Eventually. In starting out early, Andrew and I are getting stronger and are developing a few rules about time out as we go. Like, the parent who puts Ember in time out, gets her out of time out. This way neither looks like a hero. A bonus of time outs? It gives me a time out which is usually what's required in the moment.

Other random confessions:

- Sets of toys that are scattered all over the place really irritates me. I've been known to count pieces of Playmobil and puzzles to make sure they're all accounted for. The same goes for the ABC fridge magnets and crayons. A purple crayon has gone MIA and it's driving me CRAZY!

- When Ember is colouring, I really want her to colour within the lines. She doesn't of course and that's okay, I just really, really want her to.

- I started baking with Ember in a sling when she was itty bitty, 3 weeks old-ish. I would identify ingredients and measurements to her and I found it all very relaxing and enjoyable. Now, I can't do anything in the kitchen without Ember wanting to help. She carries the step stool over to where I am working, climbs up and reaches into my work zone. It isn't always relaxing but I love that we bake and cook together.

- Ember hears the word respect A LOT. Every time she hucks a piece of her meal on the floor, "Ember, you need to respect your food. People work hard to provide that for you." Wow, that sounds brutal when you type it out. I don't want to continue with this point anymore....

So, do you agree with any of my sentiments or practices? Or do you think I'm effing crazy? Be gentle if you fall into the latter category.

Thought Filled Thursday: Mummy Calling Cards

Earlier this week, I declared that I am officially a stay at home mum. Ember is my "employer". I've seen a couple of online articles recently that discuss Mommy calling cards - business cards for parents that have their name, number, email address, and child's name on them. I didn't know these things existed. There's even a MomCards.com. On their homepage, they suggest handing these cards out to your child's teachers. Hmmm.

What do we think of this? It's seems a tad unnecessary, doesn't it? Though, at the same time, I can completely appreciate the convenience of this. While Ember and I are out on walks, we often bump into other families, start chatting and eventually exchange numbers. Since I don't carry a pen on me, and I all too often forget my cell, these little cards would come in handy.

Unequivocally, I can't imagine ever paying for an item like this. (Back to that budget...) And, considering I can navigate computer software fairly well, I am able of cooking up some for myself. But then again, no, I can't really imagine doing that either.

They don't offend me.
They seem like perfect frivolity.
The stationary lover in me thinks they're fantastic.

Where do you stand: Do you already have a set on order? Or, do these just register as purely pretentious?

Paid in Love

It's official. Seeing as how the Canadian government has stopped sending cheques, *sob*, it would seem maternity leave has expired and I have crossed over into official "stay at home mum" territory. Since my new title doesn't come with an expense account, we're learning strategies in how to stay ahead knowing that me being home is paramount. Of course, this makes #26 on my 28in28 list a must rather than a mere goal. I'd thought I'd share some of the ways we're cleaning up our monetary diet.

What makes an enormous difference for us is meal planning. I sit down every Friday, create a list of our dinners for the following week and our family heads out to the Farmer's Market on Saturday morning seeking the ingredients necessary to create the dinners on my plan. Eating a clean diet free of preservatives, hormones and chemicals is very important to us - especially now that Ember eats what we're eating. I'll spare you my rants and passionate spewings on food, but I've become quite passionate about eating a clean, responsibly grown diet. As it can be a little more costly to eat this way, eating seasonally and going vegetarian a couple of nights a week makes a big difference. This means we can eat the way we want without compromising the budget. Bonus: We still get time out as a family by going to the Farmer's Market and walking around one of the city's older neighbourhoods. Economical day out!

Thankfully, we already cloth diaper and breastfeeding continues to be a success story so we don't have to worry about extra weekly expenditures. Even if you're not cloth diapering, try switching over to cloth wipes. Just purchase some inexpensive baby washcloths and use those to clean baby's tushy at each diaper change. You will do your pocket book and the environment a favour. Over your baby's time in diapers, you can save approximately $1500. (I still use disposable wipes for travelling and errands, but home we are all cloth, all the time. It's an especially easy switch to make if you're cloth diapering, just wash everything together.)

I make our cleaning supplies. It's amazing what you can do with baking soda, lemon and vinegar. From scratch, I make disinfectant spray, laundry detergent, creamy scrub and more.

We live in a condo so many of your typical household expenses are covered in our condo fees. However, we are on the hook for hydro. We have plugged the majority of our electronics into power bars and before going to bed each night, we switch off the power bar. In doing this, you eliminate the phantom power being drawn. Those little lights on your Blu-ray player that are on all night, the clock on your microwave, the blinking light on your cell phone charger - all phantom power. My in-laws put their electronics on power bars, began switching them off each night and immediately noticed a savings on their electricity bill within the first month.

After studying where our grocery money was going in the way of pre-packaged foods, I have began to make a lot of it from scratch. I'm putting all those wedding presents to use: I bake bread, make granola cereal, pasta and our yummy indulgent treats. This was an easy one as I love to spend time in the kitchen and I'm home during the day. I love how we don't have so much garbage in the way of packaging and I can control the quality of ingredients.

Some of the above are easier for us to implement since I am home, I realize that. I imagine whether a home has two working parents or one who stays home, budgeting is a reality for all of us. I would love to hear the creative steps your family has taken to curb spending.